Yesterday at about 10 am local time, nine rabid deer crashed a funeral at the Logan Cemetery. Funeral goers weren't sure what the deer were doing in the cemetery that morning and thought they were there looking for fresh grass to eat. Turns out they wanted to crash the funeral and disrupt the public peace. They attacked the widow first, knocking her out of her seat and then ate the flowers off of the coffin. Four of the deer were bucks and went about ramming family members of the deceased in the buttocks. After raising a lot of havoc, they then stole everyones car keys and jewelry and left the scene. As to the deers whereabouts, no one knows. Please call anyone if you have any information.
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